6 Common Myths About Perfect Relationships
“What would your relationship be like if it was perfect?” I have been working with couples for over four decades through many phases of...
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Dr. Randi Gunther is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor practicing in Southern California. In her forty-year career, she has accumulated over 100,000 face-to-face hours with individuals, couples, and families.
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Wounded Again: How Past Trauma Can Upend a Relationship
What to do if you feel an episode of past trauma recurring. Many people have suffered emotional or physical trauma in their lives. Even...
A New Kind of Loneliness
Understanding and processing the loss of meaningful connection. The isolation from the pandemic has had a negative impact on many...
Boomerang Relationships
What drives them? Many people seeking long-term relationships are drawn to similar kinds of partners. Whether they are comforted by...
4 Reasons Why Someone Might Pretend Not to Need Anyone
Life traumas, parental models, and more. Some people who seem aloof and unneedy are telling the truth about themselves. They choose to...
Are You in Love with a Person Who Is Self-Destructing?
For many reasons, this is a repeatable pattern. Being in love with someone who seems to compulsively choose behaviors that can lead to...
Can a Dying Love Be Reignited?
A relationship therapist’s evaluation of relationship recovery. Unless there is a crisis, most couples don’t seek help until months or...
Why Can’t I Get Over You?
The deeper you love, the more you suffer if the relationship doesn’t work out. Falling in love is risky. The deeper you love, the more...
When Should I Have Left You?
Recognizing when a relationship is dying. When couples finally part, they have often endured a long period of diminished happiness before...
I Still Love You, but I Don’t Always Like You
Do you feel annoyed, aggravated, offended, or exasperated by these behaviors? If you have been in an intimate relationship for a period...
How Blaming Can Destroy Intimacy
How to recognize the blaming patterns and behaviors. One of the most potent enemies of quality relationships is the use of blaming to win...
Love Promises - New Year's Resolutions for Couples
Renewing Commitment With the New Year dawning upon us, many of my friends and patients are thinking about what they want to do...
Twelve Crucial Agreements That Nurture Intimacy
All couples have their own unique set of these mutual agreements. Successful romantic partners have a sacred bond that ensures they will...
The Two Most Important Communication Skills
Weaving the Past Into an Empathic Present I’ve been teaching couples how to successfully communicate for over four decades and have never...
Sex, Actually
The 15 most significant variables that define your sexuality. For more than four decades, I have been a practicing psychologist, marriage...
Are You Often the “Giver” in Your Intimate Relationships?
Eight reasons why people end up being the primary givers. Over the past four decades, I have so often listened to couples sharing their...
I Love My Partner—But Could There Be Someone Better?
Most single people now have multiple options for dating adventures. Many of my patients have agonized over this kind of conflict. They’re...
What's Keeping Me in a Dying Relationship?
When attachments prolong suffering. By the time couples come to me for help, they have often tried hard on their own to make their...
When Should You Trust?
The Accurate Prediction of Relationship Behaviors Throughout my four decades as a relationship therapist, I’ve too often witnessed how...
8 Behaviors That Signal a Relationship Is in Trouble
How couples can see darkness looming early enough to turn things around. I have spent the last four decades helping both established and...
Ego-Free, Role-Free Relationships
Are they the trend of the future? The challenging of relationship roles and what they mean to both men and women is transforming in...
Escalating Stages of Conflict
From Friend to Enemy All relationship partners have differences, but how they express and resolve those differences will predict whether...
10 Ways Long-Term Couples Work to Keep Their Love Alive
Learn the basic behaviors that can deepen and maintain a long-term relationship. Despite the readily-available relationship advice,...