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ARTICLES
Dr. Randi Gunther is a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor practicing in Southern California. In her forty-year career, she has accumulated over 100,000 face-to-face hours with individuals, couples, and families.
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Love Is Easy
Relationships are hard. Many of my patients are left bewildered when their hopeful romances fade away. They sincerely believed that each...
Dec 14, 2024
Have Your Defenses Become Your Prison?
The most common defense response patterns in intimate adult relationships. Most people respond defensively when they feel attacked. It is...
Dec 11, 2024
Can Sweet Memories Neutralize Conflict?
Five common conflict responses and the neutralizing effects of loving recall When intimate partners fight to win, their conflicts can...
Dec 7, 2024
Childhood Trauma: How Triggered Immaturity Destroys Intimacy
Past traumas that resurface in present relationships create unnecessary pain. Every couple I’ve ever worked with has their dark...
Dec 6, 2024
10 Reasons Why Some People Cannot Let Go of an Ex
The sorrow of unrequited love. Most people will eventually heal after a relationship ends, especially if both partners mutually agreed to...
Dec 4, 2024
How Is Your Relationship Really Doing?
11 subtle warnings. Most intimate couples sense when their relationship is in trouble. When discord is brewing, one or both of the...
Nov 30, 2024
How Infidelity Causes Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Healing from betrayal. Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most...
Nov 27, 2024
When Negative Interactions Trigger Past Traumas
There are four consistent truths about intimate partner conflicts. There are four consistent truths about intimate partner conflicts. In...
Nov 23, 2024
When Words Fail: Transform Negative Communication Patterns
Learn to break toxic cycles and rebuild meaningful communication without words. There are reasons why poetry moves us. Masters of the...
Nov 21, 2024
How the Most Successful Couples Keep Their Passion Alive
How to turn new love's magic into forever love. Passion and sexuality are synonymous experiences for new lovers. The intensity and...
Nov 20, 2024
What Do You Bring to the Dating Table?
A crucial prelude to successful relationships Dating can be stressful under the best of circumstances. Despite the glut of advice for...
Nov 16, 2024
Is Fighting Destroying Your Love? - A Questionnaire
Toxicity and Intimacy Cannot Co-Exist for Long Many intimate partners erroneously believe that their love will always triumph no matter...
Nov 13, 2024
I Love You, But I’m Leaving: When Relationships Cost Too Much
When a relationship’s cost outweighs the benefits, it may be time to leave. All relationships are emotional investments. We choose our...
Nov 11, 2024
Surviving a “Need-to-Win” Partner
When you approach your partner to talk about something that is bothering you, do you find yourself tightening up inside as if you are...
Nov 9, 2024
Should You Always Be Honest with Your Partner?
When openness and diplomacy collide. Most people would agree that being authentic and transparent in interactions with one’s intimate...
Nov 7, 2024
Dealing With Defensive Walls
What to do when havens become prisons. Very few people escape some form of trauma in their lives. Most survive those personal tragedies...
Nov 2, 2024
How Angry Exes Seek Revenge
The dark sides of love gone wrong. The emotional bond between committed lovers gives each entry into the others’ deepest and most...
Oct 31, 2024
9 Ways Couples Can Fix Broken Communication
7. Forget about always being right. As lack of trust has increased in the world, many people have become more entrenched in their own...
Oct 26, 2024
How Do I Know If Therapy Is the Right Choice for Me?
Assess your situation, goals, and therapist fit to decide if therapy is right. Are you facing a crisis and feel you need some objective...
Oct 23, 2024
7 Reasons Why People Stay in Unhappy Relationships
2. "This is the best I can hope for." Relationships that are consistently destructive emotionally are much more common than most people...
Oct 23, 2024
Grieving Separately: A Dangerous Relationship Chasm
Feelings of sorrow can sometimes shatter a couple's connection. No one escapes loss in his or her life. The anguishing pain of...
Oct 19, 2024
How Some People Keep Sabotaging Their Own Relationships
... and the importance of committing to connection. Many people ask me why most of their relationships begin with great promise but fall...
Oct 17, 2024
4 Most Important Things in Long-Term Intimate Relationships
Successful relationships thrive on trust, teamwork, admiration, and freedom. I’ve spent over four decades helping people create, heal, or...
Oct 14, 2024
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