The partner who seeks therapy is the most motivated.
REASONS THAT OTHER COMES IN:
Threatened by potential lost
Fear of Exclusion and Conspiracy
Fear of what might come out
Hoping for resolution but not committed
Couples therapy has to have everyone on the same page.
Letting go of past anger, hurt, resentments
Willingness to learn and practice new skills
Committed to the process
Accountability and motivation
Both may appear fully involved in the therapeutic environment but the partner "Forced In" may have mixed feelings about being there and will consciously or unconsciously sabotage the process when away from that environment. Or, the reticent partner may have other things going on that he or she can't share.
The relationship doesn't seem to be getting any better and the energy in the room is decreasing.
It is crucial to identify whatever sabotaging behaviors may be going on to turn things around.
If you are that sabotaging partner, unwillingly or purposefully, you need to ask yourself:
Are you hiding anything from yourself or your partner
Are you fighting the process because you are conflicted about staying in the relationship at all?
Are you trying to behave as you think you should, rather that howyou really feel?
Do you fear that therapy is opening up "A Can Of Worms" , better left alone?
HERE ARE THE 8 MOST COMMON SABOTAGING BEHAVIORS THAT YOU MAY BE EXHIBITING.
3. Diminished Tracking
4. Prime Time Energy Elsewhere
5. "Forgetting" Agreements
6. Absence of Compliments
7. Flipping Blame or Accountability
8. Avoidance of Intimate Contact
For more information about Dr. Randi Gunther, visit